NOW is the appropriate time for the Hallelujah Chorus to wash over our cities and towns, for the almost never-ending "Holiday Season" is finally complete. For whatever rea$ons, we have stretched and pulled what really is a 2-3 day celebration and made it into a 3-4 MONTH blowout.
With an ever-expanding list of people expecting a gift from me, the radio stations playing Christmas
OK, OK, I know a lot of you like all that holiday cheer and jazz. You are reading this and thinking I have notched up my grouchy old man meter to a new level for 2014. But, before you judge me, let me give you some proof of what the stress and aggravation from this extended 3-4 month Holiday Season is doing to people just like you and me. Well, probably not like you and me. At least, not like you.
These are actual news stories that went down while you were busy eating your fourth turkey, unwrapping your ninth sweater, and watching Rudolph for the tenth time.
I think the most troubling part of this video is that the people around the wounded elf just keep asking him if he would like them to call 9-1-1. This dude truly must be Santa Claus, because if I were playing the part and someone SHOT me with anything--a pellet, a BB, a marshmallow--I would scream, "Hell Yes, call 9-1-1!! I HAVE BEEN SHOT!!" Finally, at around 1:46 in the video, you can hear a lady off camera say she is trying to call the PR girl. That should fix everything, because this is just like a Scandal episode.
Here is a link to the full story: Santa Shot With Pellets
Helen Ann Williams was fed up with all the Christmas chaos. She had finally made it to Christmas Eve. All she wanted to do was relax on her couch in her North Charleston, South Carolina home, and knock back a couple of cold ones. Her no-good husband went out on a beer run for her, but came with nothing. NOTHING. Not a Coors, not a Bud, not even a Milwaukee's Best. Then the sunabitch just went to the kitchen and started making himself a sandwich, like nothing was wrong. He acted like the beer store was already closed, it being Christmas Eve and all.
Mr. "The Beer Store Was Closed" somehow escaped to the neighbors and called 9-1-1. Helen Ann was arrested, right at Christmas. Sober.
Link to the actual story:Wife Stabs Husband with Ceramic Squirrel
Link to actual story: Naked Man Streaks at Bingo
As you can see, this extended celebratory season we have developed has created an entirely new breed of criminal: the Christmas Corrupt, the Holiday Heavy's, the Nefarious Noel. I am just thankful we have survived another year of it. New Year's Day closed up the Season for a while. Now we can go back to our normal news stories, such as this:
|After 30 years, man notices tree has a penis-like growth.|