incessant requests from people encouraging you to play stupid games (By the way, my definition of a stupid game is any one that I do not currently play. If I play the game, then it is a highly intellectual game and worthy of seeing an invite to play on my feed.).
But by and large, Facebook allows me to see pictures of my friends and their children, nice vacations people have taken, good food that's been eaten, and other things I would never get to share with the people I love. It also keeps me up to date on most current news items, television shows, movies, music, and pop culture.
All that being said, here is the thing I hate about Facebook: posters that tell you to share said poster if you (a) want to live, (b) don't want to kill your mother, or (c) hate North Korea. I have saved some of my the most ridiculous ones I have seen this past week, and I want to share my top five with you now.
What, was Bill Gates up late one night having a few glasses of wine and decide it would be great to see how many boobs he could get to fall for his trick? "Hey honey, take my picture, take my picture, take my picture! I am going to post this on Facebook. Let's see who actually shares it! Is there more wine?"
Also note the large, white area of "paper" he is holding. It is conveniently large enough for say, ANYONE, to write, oh I don't know, ANYTHING on it via ANY computer picture editing program. I have seen this shared on my feed for months now, and I always question the mental stability of the person who shared it. The sharer always writes something like "Just in case!" or "Can't hurt to try!" when posting it. Yes, it can hurt to try. It makes you stupid. Stop it.
These Facebook picture requests range from getting a pet, to convincing a partner to have sexual relations, to getting married. I hate them all and if you post one on my wall, I will wish that you never get a puppy, always remain a virgin, and never find love. That's just how I roll, man.
Okay. Wow. Seriously? I mean this is some serious business right here. I am on Facebook via my iPhone while sitting in the doctor's office waiting for my name to be called. I just want to see what's up and BAM! Someone hits you with this demand. Really? As if God and the Devil have a running Facebook contest going to see who will win the battle of good vs. evil. What will happen to me now because the nurse comes out as soon as I read this and calls me back to the office? I don't have time to like or share. It appears that I have scrolled on by, thus declaring my love for the Devil himself.
Oh that's right, IT ISN'T REAL.
I always want to ask where this percentage came from. Who exactly did the study and where can the specifics of the survey be found, but I know that would be too much. By asking, you automatically make yourself part of the 97% of heathens who barbarically keep on scrolling. Idiot.
You don't even have to ask me what my choice is in this situation.
So there you have my 5 Facebook hates. Do you have any that I forgot to mention or didn't make my list? Tell me about them.
By the way, I know only 3% of you will tell me.