Thanks to my friend over at Butchy Crocker, I am happy to say I will not have to worry about my penis being removed without my consent.
Butchy has created a very official and serious looking document called the Kentucky Emergency Medical Services Don't Amputate My Penis (DAMP) Order. Neither of us is an attorney, but I am sure it will hold up in court. There is even a place for a notary to sign. You can't get much more official than that. If anyone questions you on the legality of it, just tell them two bloggers gave it to you. That should be enough for it to hold up in court.
Here is a peek at the form: