A DAMP Order...Don't Leave Home Without It

Thanks to my friend over at Butchy Crocker, I am happy to say I will not have to worry about my penis being removed without my consent.

The great (and twisted) mind of Butchy has created a very official and serious looking document called the Kentucky Emergency Medical Services Don't Amputate My Penis (DAMP) Order. Neither of us is an attorney, but I am sure it will hold up in court. There is even a place for a notary to sign. You can't get much more official than that. If anyone questions you on the legality of it, just tell them two bloggers gave it to you. That should be enough for it to hold up in court.

Here is a peek at the form:

Kentucky Emergency Medical Services

Don’t Amputate My Penis (DAMP) Order

Person's Full Legal Name _______________________________________________________________

Surrogate's Full Legal Name (if applicable) _________________________________________________

I, the undersigned person or surrogate who has been designated to make health care decisions in accordance with Kentucky Revised Statutes, hereby direct that in the event of my unconsciousness that this DON’T AMPUTATE MY PENIS (DAMP) ORDER be honored. I understand that DAMP means that if my penis appears to have morphed into cancerous cauliflower, no medical procedure to remove my vegetable penis will be started by surgical personnel.  

I highly recommend you click on over to Butchy Crocker's Compendium of Conduct and read the entire form. Then, if you are a man, print one out and sign it. If you are a woman who knows a man, print one out and give it to him. It will count as your paying-it-forward-Oprah-moment for the day.

Oh, and one more thing: