Pinterest Fail

Just a quickie to show everyone how crafty I am.  I saw a great looking recipe on Pinterest last week for Dried Strawberries.  The picture was gorgeous.  The description was scrumptious.  It even compared these dried bits to Twizzlers.  Twizzlers!!  How could I NOT try this?  Further, all you had to do was throw some berries on a pan, salt and pepper them, and put them in the oven.

Easy Squeezy Lemon Pleazy.

Here is the Pinterest picture:

(They look tasty, right?)

So, last night, I decided to make this healthy snack.  I followed the directions, but when the oven timer buzzed, my berries did not look like the above picture.  They weren't even halfway dried.  So, I decided I would cover them for the night, then put them back in the oven to dry some more today.

Before I left for work, I stuck the pan of mushy berries back into the oven.  I intended to tell Andy what I'd done and ask him to watch the berries for the next hour or so and see what happened with them.  However, just as I left the kitchen something shiny in the office caught my eye and I ran to see what it was, totally forgetting about the berries.

I remembered them again at 5:30 tonight.

Here is the picture:

 Get ready...

Young children may want to leave the room...

(Oy.)

If anyone would like to try this simple, easy recipe for yourself, here is the link:

Easy (my ass) Dried Strawberries

If you try it, let me know how it turns out.

Stupid Pinterest.

A Tattoo By Any Other Name Is...

Trust me, I am no grammar Nazi.  I often find cringe-worthy mistakes in essays I have written, revised, reworked, and submitted to publishers.  More often than not, you have to read between the lines and fill in left out words to make any sense of my Facebook status or Tweets. I do, however, have a passable grasp on what I find hard to believe could STILL be problematic grammar errors such as "your" and "you're."

Reading a person's grammar mistakes does not rub me so wrong that I go all "Gordon Ramsey eats an undercooked scallop" over it like does many of my friends, but that is only when the error is on paper or online.  If the mistake is made on something permanent, oh say my body, then I would totally go bat shit crazy on the violator.

I recently read that a lady in Nova Scotia sued a local tattoo parlor for misspelling the word "crossroads" on her stomach.  The judge found in her favor and demanded that the tattoo studio pay her $9,000 to have the tattoo removed.  To her I say, "Bravo!"

Link to the News Story

I can not imagine having to go through life with anything misspelled on my person.  I have a tattoo that I had done in 1997.  Even then, I knew my luck well enough to know not to have any words, Chinese characters, or anything else that could be misinterpreted applied to myself.  I went with a simple yin-yang on the front of my left hip.  I would snap a photo of the tattoo for you except my 27-year old self could not foresee that his 41-year old older self would weigh an additional 100 pounds, thus forming a ginormous fat roll that completely covers the tat.  On the bright side, if I ever lose weight, the tattoo will be fresh and unfaded from all the years of protection from any light.

While there is a great injustice to receiving a bad tattoo, and I am all for that poor Canadian girl getting $9K to have hers removed, let's be honest.  If it didn't happen to us, it is damn funny to see.  It is an unexpected treat, one that can not easily be dismissed.  One that should not be dismissed.

So without further ado, let's take a gander at my top 10 bad tattoos:

10. There is nothing misspelled here, but it sooo isn't right.

9.  For some reason, I don't think this fella needed a tattoo to tell us he was white trash.

8. I'm glad this dude is hugged up to another dude, because he may have a hard time finding tits.

7.  I am not sure what Juge-ing is, but I hope only God does it.

6.  Yes, it does.  It go's and go's and go's.

5.  Well, maybe regret ONE thing...

4. I must say I misspell this word a lot, only NOT ON MY FREAKING LEG.

3.  Since you say so, I will not waste my time on you.

2.  I am! I am s'jalous I could die!

1 1/2. You are awsome. Tottlly.

1. The Winner! Oh, sweet, sweet pee. I feel that way sometimes when I have to go really really bad and finally get to a bathroom.

Please excuse any misspellings on this post. ;-)