Wednesday, April 11, 2012

'Tuck's Big Adventure: The Finale!

When we last left 'Tuck, he had been gnomenapped by some guys dressed in Red.  We pick up with his journal at that point:

The guys in Red turned out to be from Kansas. They had seen me with Sassy, the Kansas gnome the night before and were mad.  They feared that I had tried to somehow take Sassy's "luck" away from her. What buffoons!  I tried to not laugh when they said that.  I politely told them gnomes have no affect on ballgame scores.  We are mere fans.  The only power we wield is the power to make your hibiscus flower more brightly than the sun or to spread poison ivy all over every inch of your garden( which was a real possibility for these boys when I got out of this mess).  Then, not being able to help myself, I said, "Kentucky is going to manhandle you in the final.  You may as well go home now."

They took offense to that and put my blindfold back on.  For hours, I was subjected to horrors such as listening to them yell, "Rock Chalk, Jay Hawk!" which is just dumb if you ask me. 
(They even tried water-boarding, but it didn't work.)
 They kept insisting that I answer "Jay Hawk," when they said, "Rock Chalk."  You will be proud to know that I never broke over or wavered.  I am a Kentucky gnome through and through.  When they said, "Rock Chalk," I yelled "IS A STUPID CHEER!" every single time.

Eventually, they gave up and left me alone in the room.  While I was alone, I devised a plan to escape.  I knew that Keith and Andy, and very likely all of Big Blue Nation, was looking for me.  If I could somehow get myself to the balcony, I could wave for help.  I looked around the room and finally saw a Kansas Jay Hawk towel.  Being very good with my hands, I was able to unravel the fabric into a long string.  I tied it around myself, then anchored it to the balcony.  Taking a deep breath, I flung myself off the third story balcony yelling a battle cry, "For the love of Magnolia Hill!!"

I timed my jump perfectly!  I hadn't hung on the balcony but just a few minutes when Keith walked by and saw me.  He was so happy!  He first asked the police to help free me, but they wouldn't help.  The official line from the po-po was he couldn't prove I was with them, but I suspect it was due to my behavior the previous day at the Blondie concert.
(My escape complete. Just waiting for the boys, now!)

(Oliver, my hero!)
Anyhoo, Keith found a very tall young man and very a petite young lady who helped free me!  Oliver, the young man, even gave me a big drink of his hurricane.  It was the best tasting thing I had ever had!
(My heroines!)

Andy insisted that I visit the EMT booth on Bourbon Street to get checked out.  I told him I was fine, but that Andy is overprotective, God love him.  Here I am being seen by the medics:

They did find a small abrasion, bandaged me up, and I was good as new!  We then hit the town to celebrate our Kentucky Wildcats winning their eighth national championship over those stupid Jay Hawks!

I was soooo happy to get back to the apartment and snuggle into the sheets of my bed knowing I was heading home to Magnolia Hill the next morning.

I was so anxious to get back home, I even helped drive!

So here I am, back safe and sound at Magnolia Hill!  My cousin Tick didn't believe all my stories until Andy vouched for me.  Can you believe that?!  I am afraid I now have the travel bug, and I want to see what else is out there past the gates of Magnolia Hill.  If you'd like to keep up with me, Keith has helped me set up a Facebook page, Tuck of Magnolia Hill is my screen name.  Hit me up!

Thanks for reading my story, and I will write more the next time I have a big adventure!


As soon as we got back to their lair, the torture began.

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