Wednesday, February 29, 2012


(NOT what Jay had in mind, I am sure)
On February first, my friend Jay McCoy posted on his Facebook wall that he was writing a haiku every day in February.  I think it was National Haiku Month or something like that, perhaps not.  I am also fairly certain that Jay invited others to do the same thing, perhaps not.  I could scroll back through his posts and see for sure, but I don't have that kind of time.  The point is that I took Jay's either encouraging lead or stole his idea completely and wrote a haiku for each day of the month.

I even got a little carried away and wrote a haiku or two for friend's birthday greetings.  I also delved into an entirely new genre, dirty haiku.  I didn't post the dirty ones, but my friend David and I have named my forthcoming book HAIKU CONFESSIONALS ON THE DANCE FLOOR.  Watch for it at your local adult bookstore soon!

Looking over the month's work, I am quite proud of myself, not necessarily because I think the work is great but because I stuck with it and completed the task.  I'd like to share the thirty poems with you.  Hopefully,  you will find some funny, some nice, some naughty, some touching, and if you find some bad, keep your mouth shut. :-)

Sunglasses block rays
Like lies covering the truth
blocking out the light.
February Two,
The day belongs to groundhogs.
Why? I have no clue.

Of all my vices,
the one I can’t do without
is my love for you

Get your game face on
It’s game day in Kentucky
Big Blue Nation, rise.


Brady and Manning.
Madonna and K. Clarkson.
Football or Gay Pride?


Fog covers the hills,
hiding the winter bleakness,
like make-up hides flaws.


Welcome to our church.
God loves you just as you are.
Unless you are gay.

To put it simply,
I'm sexy and I know it.
Now you know it, too.


I'm a ripened plum:
tempting and aromatic.
Juicy, but worth it.


St. John's Bay track suit.
If good enough for Ellen,
then I will buy two.


Big floppy brown ears,
always happy to see me.
Best spooner ever.


Outside my window
I hear him calling to me
The owl is on watch.


I'm over the top.
I am entirely too much.
I want to be more.


We're doing it wrong.
One day to celebrate love?
Should be every day.


The flames never leave
They just smolder deep inside
Waiting to be stoked.


I used to want fame,
But now I'm fine with my lot.
Unless fame calls me.


I don't hunt or fish,
I'm Blue more than Red, but I'm
still Appalachian.


Golden and silky
sweet, luscious, and addicting
Hard to watch leave me.


Whitney. Santorum.
Velveeta. Bullies. Pimples.
I blame Bobby Brown.


Snow covers the hills
transforming bleak and mundane
to otherworldly.


Fat Tuesday is here!
Celebrate while you can. For,
tomorrow, we Lent.


Starts with ten inches.
Next day, down to only four.
Online date or snow?


Sending love and grace
to the banks of Troublesome.
May peace be found there.


What a nice surprise!
Warm, breezy, face in the sun.
Cures all that ails you.


I'm eat up with charm.
I'm up for what life hands me.
Resist me? Futile.


If I had one chance.
A chance to get it all right.
I'd give it to you.


What is a haiku?
Great for those with A.D.D.
Look, something shiny!


Cornbread and soupbeans
three generations gather
Monday in Hyden


Evening comes softly
the hawk nests, the owl takes flight
we wish on a star


Leap Day. Rarity.
How will you spend your bonus?
I'm eating ice cream.
 I hope you enjoyed.  I will now try and stop counting every syllable of every word that I speak or type.  On to March!  I wonder what Jay is doing this month?

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