Ah, Memorial Day. The unofficial beginning to summer. Sunshine. Swimming pools. Grilling. This is the day that you realize that there will be no more days of snow, of frost, of bone-chilling winds for at least 4 months. You are completely in the clear to pull from storage all patio furniture, grills, and water toys. Open the pool. Tune up the jet skis. Disinfect the coolers. The world is your oyster! By the way, enjoy this feeling. It usually only lasts a few weeks until around mid-June when people start complaining about the sweltering humidity and oppressive heat of summer.
During my years in Florida, I became desensitized to this glorious feeling of euphoria that comes on this day. My pool stayed open year-round, and I became cranky with a week of 60-degree weather, usually stating that I was freezing my bits and pieces off. Although Florida living has many advantages, appreciating Mother Nature's ever changing moods is not something that you can thoroughly achieve living at the beach.
With the advent of warm weather, unfortunately for most, comes the requirement of skimpier clothes. Clothes that are intended to help a body not overheat in the warmth of the sun or allow a body to perform at its maximum peak during all summertime activities, such as swimming. To my dismay, many people couple the need for this need for this type of clothing with very unrealistic body images of themselves. When that happens, things like this happen:
|(Family Reunion, Memorial Day 2010)|
I have discovered a new fad, however, that I implore each and every man, beautiful body or not, to avoid this summer.
|(I ain't talking about your mother's Be-dazzler)|
|(Another caveat: Only the well-hung have a chance with this)|
The only thing worse, I suppose, would be wearing the accessory without first waxing. See the viscous circle the Pejazzle draws? It just isn't worth it. It does not bring sexy back. In fact, it only brings pain, and probably razor burn.
In case you want to order, here is the website:
Pejazzle My Penis!
If you do order, I ask only one things: please send me a picture so I can post and make fun of results.