Monday, April 4, 2011

You Better Be Sure To Read Close The First Time!

A few months back, I did a segment on recent posts in the Hyden Forum of the Topix website.  Because everyone seemed to like it, and because that site gives someone like me an endless supply of laughs and material, I thought I would run down the top Topics on Hyden Topix that you may have missed. 

It is my duty to keep you informed of rumors, and I will not let you down.  I have written the topic name exactly as it appears on the website in bold.  I have only changed names.  My commentary follows each.

Is it true we are getting a Motel and a Waffle House?
A motel AND a Waffle House?!  Are you kidding me?!  That is too much!  No, it is too much!  Actually, the reason that this made the list is that it was originally posted on the website in September 2008.  No one had commented on the post since October 2008, and yet, apparently because no one had answered with a one word answer "No," someone has decided he or she should ask again.  Bless his heart.  Has he actually been pining away for a motel and a Waffle House in Hyden for 2 1/2 years now, never giving up hope?  Does this person travel to Hyden a lot and need a place to stay that badly?  Is the Waffle House to be attached to said motel or free standing?  There are so many questions that have been left unanswered for 2 1/2 years.  To put this person out of his misery, I think I will reply with a "Yes. Yes it is true. We are getting a Motel and a Waffle House."

Who don't wear pannie in hyden,ky......
Again, other than not knowing exactly what a pannie is, the length of time from the original post to its most recent comment bumped this bad boy on to the list.  It was originally posted in January 2009, so for two years this fella has been desperate to know who don't wear pannie in hyden,ky.  Well, Original Poster, I can tell you right now, I do not.  Are you happy now?  Can you let it go?

watch out up stinnett
I always do.  You should too.  Good advice.

What is a Taint?
I did not know, and found myself going to the urbandictionary website to find out.  You do not want to know.  As a rule, if you have to search for a term on the urbandictionary site, you really don't need or want to know the definition.

cud neone tel me where good place to get hair color done?
I could, but I doubt you could read it.  I would also guess you do not need to know a good place to get your teeth cleaned.

why is shirley smith so in love with peter baker
That is a tough one.  Why do birds suddenly appear every time Peter is near? Just like Shirley, they long to be close to him.

Marriage means nothin these days
I bet if I posted that I would like to have the legal rights to marry my partner of over 8 years, it would suddenly mean something to them.  What do you think?

The Smith/Franklin skanks down bullskin
They are no skanier than the Smith/Franklin skanks up bullskin, and that's the truth. You know what they say, ain't no skank like a Bullskin skank cause a Bullskin skank don't stop.

If u believe in god then ur a dumbass
If you are a dumbass, then you mock God on the internet.  If God does exist, why doesn't she strike down the servers at Topix headquarters?

My psycho wife dominates me!
Oh boy, this one is too easy.  I could say something like "Isn't that true of all wives?" BUT I WON'T. What I will say is that I had no idea Todd Palin posted on the Hyden Topix website.

what went on at stinnett
It is untelling. See earlier Stinnett post.

mr jenkins wife is a NASTY S LUT
But at least you have enough respect for the husband to call him Mr. Jenkins.  How very nice and classy of you!

what women got the best puss in leslie county
Oh, I know a lady who has three pure-bred Persians that are just beautiful.  I can't really go around them that much because I am allergic, but, wait...what's that?  Oh...OH...oh my.  In that case, check down Bullskin.

Dear reader, you are all caught up on the rumors and happenings on the Hyden Topix website.  I will continue to monitor for you in case something pops up you need to see. 

Until then, I am heading down Bullskin.


  1. This has injured me... I have laughed so hard that my head hurts!!!

  2. I firmly believe this is the best thing to ever come out of Topix... I've nearly peed on myself reading!

  3. This is a cross between Hyden Topix & Letterman's Top 10......You crack me UP.....well, you and the Bullskin skanks! =)

  4. LOL....I think you have captured the true essence of is this generations version of the party your blog!