Keith Stewart’s remarkable adventures usually occur near his hometown of Hyden in the hills of southeastern Kentucky, although he can be found aimlessly wandering the streets of nearby Lexington at any given moment. Before he shed his corporate casing, he worked as a certified public accountant for a multi-national company. He now enjoys less stressful work with much less pay, and blogs and writes and stuff. Oh, and he is as happy as a clam.
Friday, November 12, 2010
Airing Our Dirty Laundry
OK, so a year or so ago, someone told me about this website called Topix. I think at this point we all know what Topix is, but for those of you who "don't know," I will explain. It is a website that allows people to post items and messages about their local community based on zipcode. For people who live in larger cities, you may very well not know about this. Be thankful. It seems to be, for all practical purposes, the newest way to gossip, spread untruths, and talk about people. Of course, I have never been to the Lexington community page. It is too big, I don't know anyone. I went straight for my hometown page of Hyden where everyone knows everyone else. I was mesmerized by it at first at all the posts. Then I became amazed at all the ignorance. Now, I am just completely blown away by the number of people in my hometown who have access to the internet and are still so dumb.
I have all but stopped going to this site unless someone tells me that I have to log on to read a funny post. That is what I did today because someone had posted negative comments about our pharmacy. As I read the names of the other posts, I started laughing out loud, and thought I would share some of my favorites with you. I have taken these directly from the Hyden Topix threads. Enjoy along with my commentary:
Chicken For Sale
(Ah yes, thankfully I can now find a chicken for sale online)
Who Is The Drunkest Man In LC?
(Wow, really? I am sure that I would have had that title on some particular night in my life. I have a lot of friends who would be interested in having a contest to see who would win the title.)
Bullcreek Lying Bitches
(Oooh, those lying bitches on Bullcreek make me s'mad!)
You Might Be Emo If...
(If you are emo, you probably know. So does everyone else.)
Bust Up Beech Bottom
(Was there a police bust at a place called Beech Bottom? Did someone named Beech bust up his or her bottom?)
Scrape Scrape What's That Sound
(Probably a scraper. Scraping something)
Vote No Gay Officials in Hyden
(Yes, here in multi-cultural Hyden, KY, there are several openly gay candidates running for elected office. It is the San Fransisco of the South. WTH?!)
(Watch out. They will get you.)
Trailors For Sale??
(The mating call of Topix Men)
My Pee Is Clear
(Glad the infection cleared up.)
(Hmm, would like you to post a picture of that.)
Trade Your Vote For A Fish Dinner
(A fish dinner would have been greatly appreciated instead of Rand Paul.)
WSGS Has Went All To Hell
(Just all to hell. All to hell.)
Looking For A Police Man!!
(Maybe you should look at city hall or the police station, not Topix.)
Everybody Think For A Minute
(Now if we did that, we would not be on the Topix website.)
And my favorite:
People Who Sticky Their Nose Up Other People Azzes Dam I Hate That
(Damn, I hate that too.)
Posted by Keith S. at 11:24:00 PM
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Oh my God, too funny! I go between laughing at Topix and getting really depressed reading the posts. I hate it when they start talking about local businesses and the people who own them. I don't know why that bothers me, but it does. I prefer to live in ignorant bliss.ReplyDelete
OMG I have never laughed so hard. I don't even go on topix because other's ignorance amazes me. It almost makes me ashamed to say "yes I am part of these wonderful Leslie Countian's". Thanks for the laugh.ReplyDelete
Instead of "People of Wal-Mart"...we need "People of Topix, Hyden Ky" and you need to be the commentator!!!!!!!! Love it!!!ReplyDelete
I'm a veteran of Topix!ReplyDelete
Oh that was a good one....reminds me...I need to check my local topix...I am still waiting to find out who took Baby Gurlz man ...Thanks for the laugh...ReplyDelete
I Hate Topix
I believe it 'virtually' demonstrates the Most Negative aspects of our human nature.
Thank You, for putting a Down to Earth Spin on Utterly Nonsensical Posts.